The con artist/thug neighbor tried to talk to me about “high yield investments” today. As if I have the money to invest in anything. I guess gossip is good sometimes because I learned to stay the hell away.

I’m always speaking on new and extinct species in the jungle and other exotic places. But now I’m discovering new species I never knew existed at the local pet store.

What is up with all these new hybrid dogs? I went to my pet store I always try to steer clear from. I’m dying for a pet but I just can’t do that right now! I’m never at home and it’d just be wrong. Besides, I’d rescue a dog than shell out a grand for a purebred. But I’d have to have someone pay me for one of those designer dogs. It’s just wrong. You literally can choose what mix of dogs you want and bingo, you’ve got it. There are Buggs (Boston Terrier/Pug mix), Pomapoo (Pomeranian/Toy Poodle), Yorkipoo (Yorkie/Poodle Cross), Cava-Tzu (Cavalier King Charles/Shih Tzu mix) and so on. Some of them are cute, but some look pretty whacked-out. I guess you take the pieces you want and make it into one so that you’ve got everything you’re looking for in a dog.

Why isn’t there an option to make a hybrid man?

Oh my gosh. I haven’t written in so long. To make a long story short, I had to put an end to this guy I just started seeing a few weeks ago. I met him at the coffee shop I go to. You know when you meet someone and it just clicks? Well, aside from ordering the exact same half-cappuccino, half-hot chocolate, my secret concoction I thought not one else has ever dreamed up before, he was not only handsome and sexy, but he had guts. He didn’t beat around the bush after we talked for a few minutes about the capa-coco to ask me out.

He’s a dentist and I’ve always thought dentists must have a phobia against kissing people. How can you not when you’ve always got open, bacteria filled gums in your face? But he was the best damn kisser I’ve ever been with. And he liked kissing. We kissed for a full week before we went any further than that.

Thing is, I felt like the guy in the relationship. I wanted to move faster in the sex area, he wanted to keep things slow. But he was rushing for me to meet his family and he really wanted to find out everything about me. Meet my family and so on. And I just couldn’t do it. It’s a shame because I liked him, I liked the way he kissed.

Maybe that’s why married guys are after me. Because it’s actually me after them. I don’t need to explain my life – past or otherwise – to anyone.

Sorry there hasn’t been much about animals. But hey, I’m a mammal, aren’t I?

A “leap second” happened last year on New Years. I guess the guys who run the universal clock figured they have to make up for “lost time.” LOL. That extra second only gave me more misery. So thankfully, there was no extra seconds thrown into this calendar year. Although it’s going to be a good year, I can feel it.

One weird thing happened though. I have this neighbor with a big dog, a Weimeraner, who’s always so nice to me. He always remembers what we’ve talked about, asks me what’s going on, etc. Really sweet guy. And I feel so guilty because I can’t ever remember his name! So awful…

Well, yesterday, in broad daylight, he got in a huge fist fight with another guy, who is also a neighbor, and ended up smashing a bottle on his head! The other guy ran off bleeding like crazy – I hope he went to the hospital! And my neighbor was arrested. He’s back home today though. Just one night in the slammer I guess before he was bailed out. Rosa, another neighbor, filled me in on the gossip because I was at the lab all day. She heard that my neighbor with the weimer is a con artist and he gypped the other guy out of something like ten grand! And up till now, it’s been escalating in verbal fights. I guess last night, it got physical. Can you believe it? You get conned out of ten thousand dollars and then the same grifter smashes a bottle over your head?